I'm sure you have been on the edge of your seats, waiting to find out if I won the ARPU award. Sorry for the delay with the result. So in time honoured fashion -drumroll please - and the winner was.... not me! In fact the number of votes we got could be counted by a very small child just learning to count. I think something was lacking in the way the story was told. The bloke had to be the only person in the company who didn't know what had happened and therefore was not able to inject the humour required into the situation. Put it this way - I didn't even vote for me!

The weekend was quiet although the nasty tutor at college on Saturday was horrible to me in front of the entire class. Unfortunately, this tutor is teaching me for 50% of the May exams so looks like I'll be seeing much more of him in the future. I went shopping on Sunday and got some new clothes - I have a theory that if I had an endless supply of new clothes I'd always want to go to work, even on Mondays! If I can just get my company give me a clothing allowance all will be well!

The bad news at work is that I have been nominated for an 'ARPU' award, which is less prestigious than an Oscar and certainly not as complementary! Colleague Chloe Bounce and I are joint nominees due to the sleeping at the office when it snowed and all of Hertfordshire came to a standstill last month. I'm not telling you what ARPU stands for in this context (although friend Pimp Daddy Rothschild does get the gold star for knowing it means Average Revenue Per User in the Telecomms industry) although it does mean public humiliation in front of 100 of my colleague tomorrow. I've only allowed myself to be entered on the proviso that I win...

I have been invited to a dinner party at the newly married friends Pimp Daddy Rothschild and Lydia Hott's house on Saturday. Looks like being a good night as friend Deedee Lusty will definitely be there and friend Hard John Rod may put in an appearance if he is allowed to drag his sorry arse back from Kuala Lumpur in time. My only concern is that I am college all day on Saturday and by the time I have driven down to deepest, darkest Sussex and had something to eat and drink my conversation could be less than scintillating!

Yesterday in Scotland was very productive. It was a long day, but everyone there is so nice and they all think I'm great! God knows why. Although it might have something to do with the 'enthusiastic response' I have when people call me up, as noted in my last performance review. The bad news is that as part of the move to Hatfield I now have a phone with caller id so I can start avoiding people who constantly call me up to ask me questions. Obviously that's bad news for them and not me (evil laugh)

A brief catch up of the latest events. Saturday I was at college learning about Business Strategy in case I ever have to direct a business. Saturday night friend Kinky Malibu came round to visit which I just about managed to stay awake for (this is not a slight on her company, I was just really, really tired after a long day at college) Sunday I was supposed to be studying, but I couldn't bring myself to do any. It's too much expecting me to work all week and then study all weekend. So instead I skulked around doing nothing for most of the day. A much more constructive use of my time.

Since Monday I have been at the new office and I'm getting used to it now. I keep forgetting to take my pass whenever I leave my desk so I can't get out of the office and I walk miles each day going back and forth between my desk and the centralised printer. However, I don't like being in the corner with no one to talk to and lunch now leaves much to be desired. We went to a dodgy cafe for lunch today which was a cross between a chinese take away and a greasy spoon. It would've been better but I had a fantastic view into the kitchens where they were carving up chickens...

Tomorrow I am going up to Scotland which was the trip we had to reschedule because of the snow. We were a bit worried in case the snow made a special reappearance, but the forecast seems OK. It's a long day tomorrow so I'm off home now.

Well we're all packed up and ready to move to the new office. I can't quite believe that we are finally leaving Boringwood - this has been on the cards for the last 3 years at least. We are all sitting around as we have been told that we should be logged out by three so no one is working. It's so pointless us all sitting here - it's not like we can do anything as all our files are packed. However, the movers have just turned up early so maybe we can go now...

I've been to the new site at Hatfield today to inspect my new desk. It's all very impressive and really nice as it is new, however the corporate imaging people have gone into overdrive. We have been told that everything has to be black - so any blue or coloured folders have to be changed, all our in trays and pen holders have to be black, we have to wear black with magenta accessories (obviously I made the last one up but since corporate culture has taken over everything it won't be long before that happens) The other bad thins is that my desk has been positioned so I am stuck in a corner and don't have anyone to talk to. To be honest that was probably deliberate to increase my productivity. If anything it will have the opposite effect as I will have to spend more time away from my desk in order to see my friends!

ow Ow OW OWW! in a bizarre freaky accident kind of way I hurt my neck this morning whilst combing my hair. I was debating about not coming into work but it was too embarrassing to ring up and explain what was wrong. So I'm drugged up to the eyeballs now so it doesn't hurt when I move. Today was also the first time in ages when I had a really bad drive into work - lots of traffic which hasn't helped. My only consolation is that the traffic occurs after Hatfield so as of Monday I won't have to sit in it ever again!

I was back at college on Saturday - it wasn't too horrific, although the classroom was standing room only. We get given so much stuff that there really isn't room for 2 people at a desk. However, it's good practice for the exams when you have a tiny desk a question book, an answer book, 2 calculators (in case on breaks) assorted pens, pencils and other stationary, id, your exam entry form, candidate number and the kitchen sink. Sunday I went mad cleaning, which is unusual for me. I think the flat is now the cleanest it's ever been since I moved in as I cleaned everywhere! I think it was work avoidance as I got given homework at college, but at least it's now done and I won't have to do it for a few weeks / months.

Yesterday was fairly eventful here - there was a reorganisation of my department. It doesn't affect me work and management wise, but it does mean I get to sit with all of my friends when we go to Hatfield instead of with the people I am sitting with now. However, it is interesting as give or take a couple of people, the set up is the same as when I first started this job! The moral to that story is that there are only a certain number of different ways you can restructure a department! Last night I set up my computer on my new desk. This was fine except that half of the leads weren't long enough to stretch across my desk. I tried moving the monitor, but that made the desk fall apart and squashed my fingers. After reassembling the desk I made a quick trip to PC World (only place that was open at 7.45pm) and purchased shockingly expensive extension cables. However, the computer now works and I now have a study!

Well another week has gone and so quickly as well. I've been really busy with work as it is monthend and I have been working like a demon for the past two days and have just sent the monthly report out a whole week early. I now need a long rest, but unfortunately I start back at college tomorrow for my exams in May. However, on the positive side this is the beginning of the end as it's the last 4 exams. Not much of interest has happened over the last couple of days. There was a moderately amusing incident when we had to talk my department manager out of trying to pick a fight with a senior manager in Customer Services. The CS manager had upset me - I don't mind doing things for people, but I do prefer it if they ask nicely and don't make me feel like an earthworm while they are doing it. I was really angry because this bloke had been really rude to me. Anyway, my manager told the department manager what happened and that's why we had to talk him out of picking the fight. My department manager hates the CS guy with a passion and is desperate to have a go at him about anything. Much as I want to see the showdown when it happens, I'd really rather I wasn't the subject of it!

I thought it was about time that I did a catch up on what's been going on over the last week. Last Wednesday I got up at some ungodly time and drove myself and my manager to Merthyr Tydfil to visit the call centre there. There isn't much to say about the day except that I am very glad that I do not have to travel on the M25 every day. It was 200 miles from home to the centre but it took over 2 hours just to go the first 50. The remaining 150 miles took just under 2 hours (although anyone who can do basic maths will be able to work out that I was hoofing it down the M4 at speeds slightly above the recommended national average)

Thursday was an unbelievably long day. I was stressed all day as I was expecting the e mail with my exam results. Friends Pimp Daddy Rothschild and Bonnie Sin both e mailed me first thing to find out how I'd done. This was really thoughtful, but a complete waste of time as the results don't arrive until mid afternoon! So all morning I was tense and checking my e mail every 5 minutes. The results finally arrived at about 2.30pm and I somehow managed to pass all 3 of the exams I took in November - despite being completely underprepared and with a sore ankle. Needless to say I was over the moon, as I have now finished intermediate CIMA and am officially a finalist. The best bit about all of this is with only 4 exams between me and qualified charted accountancy it could all be over by the summer. So I was running around seeing everyone I know and telling them the good news and phoning my family. While this was happening I failed to notice what was going on outside. It was snowing, which was not unexpected as severe weather warnings were issued on Monday. Now, I really like it when it snows, but I always prefer to see it from the comfort of my own home. The snow in Boringwood was very pretty but somehow it managed to bring the whole of Hertfordshire came to a standstill and I missed my chance to leave before it got too bad. To cut a VERY long story short I didn't leave work until 11pm as the traffic was so bad that people couldn't even get out of the car park for a long time. I had been in touch with my parents who were both stuck in traffic and advised against me even trying to go home that night. Like all good children I ignored the good advice my parents gave me and set off with colleague Chloe Bounce who also lives in Stevenage (we were going for safety in numbers) We got halfway home without a problem, but then came to a standstill on the A1 at Hatfield. It then took us 2 hours to get through the Hatfield tunnel (which is only about a mile long) and when we got out the other side we started to hit black ice. This really scared me and we decided to leave the A1 as it wasn't going anywhere. Luckily my company has offices in Hatfield, so we drove to the office and threw ourselves on the mercy of security there. They took us in and we ended up spending the next few hours trying to get some sleep on the sofas in the rest areas. I am being relocated to Hatfield in a couple of weeks so I really feel now as if I have bonded with the new offices having slept there. We left the office at about 6am and as the A1 was still at a standstill we went through the side roads which were clear by then to get back to Stevenage. I eventually got home at 6.45am just in time for my alarm clock to go off to get me up for work on Friday! Obviously I wasn't going anywhere so I tried to get some sleep, but kept being woken up by all of my friends calling me to find out what time I'd got home!

Friday was pretty much a write off, although I did venture out in the snow to walk round to see my Grandad. My manager and I were supposed to go to Scotland on Friday for our last call centre visit, but thankfully we cancelled that Thursday afternoon as soon as the snow started to settle. At the weekend I finished off the decorating and furnishing of the room which is now officially know as the study. The rest of my flat is still a complete dump but I now have a study - just in time as I have to start back at college on Saturday!

Monday I came back to work and we all spent the day comparing the horror stories of our journeys home on Thursday night. Hardly anyone was in on Friday so I don't feel like I missed anything. Due to my late departure from the office I wasn't even behind with my work as I'd done everything that needed doing Friday on Thursday night. Monday night I had lighting problems. I was on my way home from work and I became aware that people were flashing me. The middle of a motorway is not a good place to stop and ask why so I had to wait until I was at traffic lights when a bloke in a van told me that my rear lights had gone. I managed to get home without being stopped by the police and I put the light on in the kitchen and the lights in the entire flat fused. So I find my way to the fuse box and trip the switch to restore my lights. I then put the lights on in the lounge and lights fuse again. So I tripped the switch again and at that point decided it was best to write off the day and go to bed where it wouldn't matter if it was dark!

Yesterday saw the return of the snow during the day. We all freaked out and were threatening to leave work before it even settled. However, in the end it didn't settle and calm was restored! I went to my parents after work to get my car lights fixed and to pack up my computer ready to move round to my flat now I have a desk and a room for it. I had gone out in the snow at lunchtime to get replacement lightbulbs for the car. Unfortunately, I managed to get the wrong ones - apparently, there is a difference between brake lights and side lights. I thought they would be the same as they are both red! My Dad was not impressed with me and started muttering about how much my university education cost. I told him that at no point in my university education did I cover car maintenance as it doesn't really fit into a geology syllabus.